Childish Games
by YunaDax
Summary: A distinct lack of crime brings out the child in everyone :)


>From: "Julia Webster" 

Title - Childish Games Author - Julia Disclaimer - borrowing and pinching.. they arn't REALLY the same are they? do I REALLY have to give them back? Author's note - I'm bored, depressed and thought I'd write a nice little peice of creative fluff. Be warned.. this is STUPID and SILLY! I also thought it was hysterical. 

Childish Games 

Rachel Goldstein strode confidently through the glass door into the Sydney Water Police Station, holding her head high and confident that today was going to be better than the others. Signing in she looked at Tayler with a question in her eyes. "Nope sorry Rachel, nothing yet, I'll keep you posted" Tayler replied, trying to keep a smile off her face. The station had been so quiet in the past few days that the D's were going stir crazy. The boat crew were fine, doing routine patrols of the harbour to keep themselves busy, the divers were doing training dives, and checking all their equipment (which was a terminally long process), while the D's were bored out of their brains. Helen got stuck into some paperwork, as did Jeff, but unfortunatly the bored D's took their time out in some practical jokes. Rachel slunk into her office, trying to work out how she could get Frank today. Honey in his shampoo bottle? nah.. that would require sneeking into the men's showers. Nailing his desk drawers closed? nah.. too much noise... he'd be here any minute. She sat down and thought about this for awhile, trying to think of the PERFECT way to get Frank. She decided to go for the honey in the Shampoo bottle trick. Dumping her bag on her chair, Rachel poked her head out the door, quickly checking to see if anyone was coming. Seeing noone she bolted around the corner, quickly knocking on the Men's before darting in to grab Frank's shampoo bottle. Quickly exiting she ran into the Meal Room, grabbed the honey while upending the Shampoo into the sink and glanced around. He hadn't come.... yet. He MUST be up to something to be this late. She filled the bottle with the sticky liquid, slurping the last of it off her fingers, and returned it to its rightful place in the Men's, making sure it looked innocent, then returned to their office to wait for Frank. Meanwhile Frank was walking to work, silently contemplating ways in which to get Rachel that very same day. Letting down her tyres? nah... that would get him busted if something DID come up where they had to use the car, how about replacing her hand lotion with maple syrup....hrmmm sounds interesting.. he KNEW that she always put hand lotion on before their daily jog, therefore when she beat him to the canon, her hands would STICK To it. Frank smiled at his plan. "Hiya Rach" Frank said brightly as he strolled into their office. Something was wrong, Rachel was just sitting there with a smile on her face, she had DONE something already, he just had to figure out what... "Ready for the daily endurance race?" she chided him, knowing that she ALWAYS won. "You betcha, and today, I'm even gonna WIN!" he claimed grandly as she grabbed her running gear to get changed into. As she walked out the door Frank dove for her bag, grabbing her handcream and bolting to the Meal Room. Upending the bottle, he replaced the creamy white liquid with a mixture of eggs and maple syrup. Dashing back to the office he returned the bottle to her bag, emptied some of it in her shoes, and bolted to get changed himself before she returned. Rachel returned to the office and grabbed her handlotion from her bag, she squeezed some out, rubbing the slightly lumpy mixture into her hands. *hrmm* she thought, * must be out of date or something* her attention turned back to Frank as we waltzed back into the office. "Ready?" he asked. " You bet your sweet bippee" she said as the walked out of the office together. An hour later Rachel pounded up the grass towards the canon, Frank was no-where in sight, but that wasn't unusual these days. She threw her arms around the canon, relishing its support on her jelly legs, she went to pull away from it and found her hands to be stuck firmly to the shiny black paint. The more she pulled, the more it seemed her hands became firmly stuck. " FRRRAANNNNNKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, he would PAY for this. Frank appeared casually from behind a tree (that bloody bastard had been waiting and seen EVERYTHING! " Wazzup Rach? Slight sticky problem have we?" he smirked. Rachel glared at him in reply. He produced a small bottle of solution and ran it over her firmly stuck hands. " Wait about 30 minutes.. and they should come off, if not.. wait some more!" he laughed as he flounced down the hill towards the taxi. "Frank.... FRANK!!!! you'll DIE for this.. you hear me.. DIE!!!" Frank just smirked in reply and climbed into the taxi. Taking a very short ride around the corner just out of view, Frank pulled over the taxi and jumped out, he wanted to watch this, he wanted to see how Rachel would put up with standing with her hands stuck to a canon for a whole half an hour! An hour later Frank bolted back to the office, with a very angry Rachel right behind him. For exactly half an hour she had stood there, hands firmly attached to a canon, before getting loose, spying him.. and chasing him back to the office. Frank burst through the doors, startling Helen, and bolted up to the Men's. Rachel dashed in after him, bright orange hands held out in front of her, still cursing and yelling about how he was a dead man. Helen just stood there and laughed, she could understand how the boredom would be getting to them, but she hadn't realized the severity of the practical jokes that were going around. Frank had retreated to the Men's bathroom, opting for a shower before facing the angry Rachel. He was still puffing from the exertion of the run, he had never bolted so fast in his entire life! He stripped and stepped into the shower, grabbing the bottle of shampoo from the shelf. Upending the bottle he squirted a copious amount onto his head and reached up to massage it in when his hands came into contact with something cold and sticky. He cautiously extracted a hand and gingerly tasted the offending substance.... honey! " RACCCHEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!" Frank's bellow resounded around the office, making other officers look up from their work and wonder what Rachel had done to him now. He dashed out of the shower and bolted to the office, determined to get her with her own medicine. Rachel was sitting rubbing some of Helen's handlotion into her sore hands, she must have taken 3 layers of skin off trying to get away from the blasted canon! Frank burst into the office, starkers, dripping wet, and mad as a hornet. He aimed the bottle at Rachel and squirted, covering her with sticky honey, before realizing his state of undress and bolting back to the Men's. Rachel just sat there.. trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She was covered in honey, and had just seen Frank bolt in.. totally undressed, and bolt out again. Bursting out laughing she extricated herself from her chair, and stalked off to have another shower. Half an hour later, staring each other off from across the office. Frank's hair was sticking up at crazy angles and Rachel's hands were still bright red from the canon affair. Jeff walked past once.. then twice, noticing the death looks flying across his D's office and thought better of the idea of chastising them for their behaviour. He didn't want to be their next target! Rachel picked up a stray peice of paper from her desk and scrunched it into a ball, tossing it between her two hands before pegging it at Frank.. hitting him squarly between the eyes. "OW!" he cried and srated scrunching paper in returned, pegging in back to her, hitting her in the shoulder. " Thats it.. this is WAR!" she cried, flipping her desk over and hiding behind it, Not to be outdone, Frank did the same. Using his desk as a dugout, he threw everything he could at her, paper, paperclips, folders, books, and paperweights. She did the same, covering him with an assortment of stationary that would rival that off that of Officeworks. Soon both were beginning to run out of ammo. Frank down to his last drawer and Rachel down to her last staplegun. He reached inside his drawer, and to his delight found an automatic staple gun, outdoing her manual gun. He filled it with staple, popped his head up, and opened fire! All hell broke loose. Staples went everywhere, covering the floor, sticking into the desks, even into the hallway outside the office. Helen walked by, and got rather annoyed when several staples get her in the pants. "Thats IT" she thought, and stalked off to get Gavin and Tommy. She would fix those two before they destroyed the ENTIRE building. Moments later Gavin and Tommy approached the warring D's office, Helen smirking behind them. " GO!" she shouted, and Tommy and Gav leapt into action, dousing both the D's squarely with buckets of icey cold water. Rachel shreiked as the cold water cascaded over her, soaking her to the skin. She also heard Frank hollar as the same was done to him. She stood up and eyes Gavin and Tommy at the door, both with innocent expressions on their faces. Helen appeared from behind them. " You two... are going to apologize to each other, and then CLEAN this mess up!" Helen ordered, putting on her cest 'In charge' face to keep from bursting into fits of laughter. The office would never be the same again, the furniture was overturned, paper and stationary everywhere, pens and thumbtacks sticking out of the clothes of both of her Senior D's, and the whole room now covered in water! Tommy and Gav emerged with more buckets of water and stood behind Helen. "I said NOW!" Helen shouted. "dont make me insist" she stated as Tommy and Gav stood forward, showing the buckets. The D's glared at each other, neither willing to back down. " Fine then... off you go guys!" She motioned Tommy and Gav into the office, dousing both D's yet again and spraying even more water everywhere! "ALRIGHT!" Rachel screamed, frustration inching into her voice.. she couldn't let him win, but she didn't want to get doused again... she would sort HIM out later. "I'm sorry" she mumbled in Frank's general direction. " me too" Frank mumbled back. " now you two can get down to cleaning this office. I want it clean before EITHER of you go home" Helen glared at each D, driving her point home. Rachel looked at Frank, who looked right back at her. " Truce?" Frank said simply.. offering his hand to the drenched woman on the other side of the room. Rachel looked at his hand, examining it for signs of traps, before grabbing and shaking it. "Truce" she said. Stepping out of her dugout, Rachel looked carefully at Frank, his clothes were torn, his hair a mess and tie didn't even resemble a tie anymore; then again she didn't think she looked much better, her hair looked like she'd done more than slept in it, her clothes were beyond repair, and her makeup was unmentionable! They slowly turned and looked at the office, taking in the next few hours of cleaning. "aww CRAP!" Frank whined as he knelt down to start grabbing paper, stabbing himself in the knee with a stray staple as he knelt. Rachel started giggling, then collapsed into a heap, fits of laughter erupting from her crumpled form. Frank burst out laughing just looking at her, he too ended up on the floor in a heap of hysterics. Several hours later Rachel and Frank looked around the office, it somewhat resembled their office now, paper had been picked up, water soaked up from the carpet, and staples removed from just about everywhere. " Buy you a beer?" Frank offered. " yeah mate, just what I need" Rachel replied. A mutual agreement to call it quits... for a while anyways! 

The End 


End file.
